"life in emo"

2006-01-26T10:18:00.000-08:00

It seems i have no luck at all with her...... I think she wouldn't rilli care less about me even as a fren...... but maybe it's not lyk wut it seems...... but well i dun rilli care for now, like one of my friends said before, treat life like the movies, juz sit back relax and enjoy the show with a box of popcorn in ur hand.... Well i'm not gonna put any hopes on her or even anyone else for now coz i believe by the malay saying "Kalau dah jodoh tak ke maner"...... So one day the girl of my dreams will drop by from heavan juz in tym for me to catch her so that her feet won't hurt..... ;)

And finally after months...... i have like 10 days block leave.... now all the way to 6th feb when hell weeks in Special Ops Command begins..... I can't wait to push myself both mentally and physically to the max and see if i faint or not....... wooohoo!! And yeah since i'll be so free this few days anybody bored??? lonely??? wanna lepak or slack ard?? wanna ask me out on a date?....khekehkehe ;p Juzz buzz me up or sumthin........ So till the next post or sumthin..... Cheers!!

2006-01-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

Just got back from an ex schoolmate's chalet...before that had show at Jam n hop TP.... Haven't sleep yet...there's just stuff on my mind..2 more days to sumthin new...... Goin to be an S.O.C (special Ops command) officer... Under selection for instructor post... But i dun rilli care if i get that post or not as long as i am in S.O.C...... Wer i believe i can boost both my mental and physical sthrengs..... Joggin like 5 Klicks with 3 kilo boots woohooo!! gonna be fun.... ahakz.hopefully can tahan.... Finally BFC put together a showcase which is worth the audience's roar.... Our slot at Jam n hop was a good morale boost for bfc to proceed with showbizz........

"She" was there ..... those big dreamy eyes... and that smile.... at first i tot my presence wouldn't excite her as much as her presence excited me.... but that way she wave and smile with ethusiasm made me confuse.... Maybe she's juz makin me feel happy, maybe she is rilli happy to see me.... i don't noe..... i rilli don't noe.... She didn't reply to my last couple of msgs for the last few days.... Maybe prepaid low, maybe sumthin wrong with her phone, maybe i text her at the wrong timings..... maybe she's just busy....maybe she just can't be bothered with me...... i don't noe,i rilli don't noe... but i just got this gut feeling, she's not like other girls who's just not worth my tym,i got a feeling she's no stereotype....but wether she will turn to like me or not......that's another story...only fate will tell... for now i juz go with da flow n flow wif the mo..... i need to get sm sleep..... maybe later i'll get lucky to be waken by the buzz of my hp to find that "she" just text-ed me...... ;p that's all for today folks

2006-01-01T17:06:00.000-08:00

Happy new year people........ How was mine?? well nothin special........ there seem to be nothin special in special occasions in my life... how ironic..... my birthday recently was a bore too......... Does it rilli supposed to suck or is it just me........There's nothing much to keep myself bz with except for Camp life n Shows....... which take up lyk 70% of my tym yet sometymz there's too much spare tym and some tymz there's too little..... And about a girl....... forget it .... i dun one to thing much bout that...... Girls come and go in my life lyk nobody's business.... N so most girls are just not worth my tym i guess....... been in absence from bloggin for sm tym coz am in camp most of the tym.. Btw P.O.P in 2 workin days...... then i'll noe where i'll be posted...... N yah i got "best ops and fitness training award" in my squad....... after a long long tym i even get a prize or an award of sm sort...... well maybe that gives me a tny boost of morale....ahakz...... *Bullshit* i dun even noe there's still readers of my blog or not ahakiz........k people till the next post......

2005-11-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

this week, book in, book out, book in book out, book in book out........ Hari raya... same ol boring and spiritless...... Well maybe it gets spiritless and boring more and more as i get older... hmmmmmmmmmmm i dunno...... Rilli no mood to go jalan raya today..... Maybe i just go out with my Couzs......... or sumthin..... Tommoro have to go watch soccer match, then monday morning book in......then back wif life in camp........ Maybe i rilli should try signing on...... hmmmmmm maybe

2005-11-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

Weekends, watched 2 movies........ Legend of Zorro and Home Sweet Home........ Zorro is very enjoyable Home Sweet Home, starting part scary but 2nd half start to turn boring........ This week is so stupid........ Bookin camp on sunday yesterday book out, then today book in, tomoro bookout,then thursday bookin, friday bookout for the weekend..... hahahahaha dumb dumb dumb...... k Happy deepavali and an advance Hari raya Aidil Fitri........... Cheers..........

2005-10-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

Friday, supposed to go to zouk, but didn't coz it's just too packed both inside and outside..... Saturday, went out with Siti pendek, watched Deuce bigelow at the movies,funny but just ok to me... Then went home, break fast, then met Wan ros apeez n sm gfs and watched "the great raid"at lido,a rilli nice war movie..... then met up with big bro and sm other friends and watched "Transporter2" at Plaza Singapura.... The action was fuckin great and the lead actor is so daym cool.... Well hopefully, next weekend, i get to finally go out with Iza, and also get back my Adidas Goodyear jacket...khekhekehkehe.... that's all folks......

2005-10-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

N.s goin on fine yet abit stessful for bein the Squad Leader...... yet kinda gettin used to it already..... haizz.... But life's pretty much lack excitement except for the dojo lessons and life firing at camp ahakz......... Life is so stegnant....most of the tym....

Few days back was so shocked to hear bout "Boy's" admittance to Hospital for being attacked by Dengue... was supposed to visit him today but he's gettin discharge today so plan cancelled.... Goin watch movie later with this pendek girl at tamp...khekhekhe she's so cute.... aku cubit pipi kau sampai lebam baru tahu.... ahakz... N yah met up with an old fren accidentally yesterday.... she's gettin cuter then last tym.... with that "penyek" nose..... khekehkehkhe N yah Iza u owe me so many dates. khekehekhkehe K trying to not be so emo in this entry......... Cheers!!

2005-10-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

After being single, i have not went out with another girl........ It's just the same bunch couzs guy frenz and siti one of the couz's girlfriend.... And well not one not 2 frenz but more then that already saw you with another guy...I dun even noe if they all saw you with the same guy or all saw you with different guys..... Maybe they are just friends maybe you just eagerly starting to date around......... i dun care no more.... caring and worrying too much about you, well i dun think is worth my tym.. Only one thing i want from you my ADIDAS GOODYEAR JACKET!!!! hahahahaha.... and the hug coz i still miss you i rilli do.... But i'll be ok..... i'll get over you no doubt..... So i think next week is a gd tym to meet up friday or saturday would be good...... i'll take my jacket, give a hug and sayonara.... I'm sure there will be someone else in this world that is worth my time... Sings "Go your way, and i'll go mine, live your life and i'll live mine, baby you'll do well and i'll be fine, coz we're better of seperated..........." Cute girls here i come... wkhakhakahahakha! ;p SO long for now readers... till next weekend......

2005-10-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

SO fast and i'm single again...........So fast it's back to "me" n "her" from "us" n "we" And so fast i feel so lonely again :( At camp, life is ok but my squad is more or less like whithout proper guidance most of the tym..... Haizzzz sedih.... And i've been squad leader for more then a month gettin more or less seasoned with the showering of insults and scolding for the slightest mistakes of my squad...... Well, insyaallah..... it'll all turn out fine...... And my friends outside camp, the bfc boys especially..... they like just dissapear...... those who still keep in touch are my faberet bunch of adidas-fanatic cuzs and one of their GFs , Zai, Zaf, Chai-chai n all........ And Isaac the Muay thai Boy khekehkehe well i'm slowly getting used to this life which is so much confined and restricted.... But well when every book out day comes i seek enjoyment and entertainment outside the TRACOM gates..... enjoy every bit of life people..... You only live once

2005-10-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

Week 4

This week she didn't kol or msg me again, amd i dun get to meet her Friday i koled her coz i wanna meetup at town but she's too lazy and sayz town is too far blablabla...... and after break fast, i kol her, she oready not at home... n i dun freakin noe her whereabouts........... And next weekend is confinement so i'll only be out next,next weekend...... but she dun even bother about meeting me this weekend or even kol or msg or sumthing...... this is starting to suck big time...... I dunno wut to do.. well i'll just to do nothing...... i guess..... just sit back relax and enjoy life in N.S ;p...........

2005-10-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Week 3

The situation have become bad to worse........ whole week she never even call or msg me..... i called a few times but she's like so bz with a friend doin school work that we had to hung up so fast, coz i was irritated when she was actually talkin with her friend 90% of the time when i was online with her...... Then bookout day came was planning to meet her ryt after that....but she wasn't at home....... Luckily i got jeeb dam n sop to spend the nyt with................ thensaturday came, i had to go for sm "
Inter-forces" soccer game.... if not, i'll be charged A.W.O.l i called her several times since noon to late afternoon but everytime i call, she just woke up, and she still not sure what time she wanna meet me and not sure she can or not time line of 5- 6 hours and the same thing she answered?!?!?!?!?!? What the fuck!! then the last call i had to call more then 5 times just to get through to her just to get the same answer...... ended the conversation with she:i call u when i'm in town if i goin town later..." and i just couldnt be bothered and just said "apa2 ah (wuteva)" and straight away hung up..... left me to just hang out with 2 couzs, one of the couz's gf,my bro n zaf.... before i hung out with isaac the muay thai boy..... hahahahahhaha 2 weeks in a row he's been the one who made me feel better during my weekends and guess wut fuckin happen next..... i bumped into her in town....... she didn'y even call me.... n who is she with??? sm guy frenz....juz worsening the picture.......and hang out with for a mini bit before she went back with her guyfrenz..... meet her guy frenz can, meet me, fuckin hard to confirm...... my friends n all who were there starting to think that she's not worth my time at all and she's too young and all..... my mind believe all that but my heart wasn't fully convinced....... I wanna talk to her about the fact that she is makin the relationship start to "suck big tym", like how mona phrased my relationship before she dumped me hahahahahahaha.....wait, out of point.... yah i wanna talk about it with her but she just to fuckin bz and seem to have so,so,so,so,so,sofuckin little TIME FOR ME!!!! WUT THE FUCK!!!!

2005-09-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

WEEK1
It's only 1 week in National Service and it's been harder then before...... It's either she dun call/msg or call/msg at the wrong times most of the times, and sometimes she even say she'll call back/again but she either calls back when i'm like asleep or something or she dun call at all...... That makes me pretty mad especially during the weekend when i rilli wanna meet her but she just didn't call me untill very late even though we are both at Suntec........ It took her 3 hours to finally call me.. And it's already like almost 9 pm.... I was so mad that i didn't even smile at her... my temperature was boiling but i tried to contain my anger, then when i was quite ok, it's her turn, she's mad coz i was mad!?!? I rested my hand away she pushed it away, i tried to hug her, she pushed me away..... then i gave up....... but soon a couple of pecks and hugs made both of us feel better..... Haizzzzz.... if this is goin to continues for weeks and months i just feel like tapping out........ I was planning of not getting attached till P.O.P.... But sparks just happened and i'm with her even before i was enlisted........And now.......... It's a long rough, and winding road.......

WEEK2
There is a chance she'll have dance practice on saturday asked her to confirm the timing so i can plan what time to meet but she didn't confirm even the night before.. And i told her how bout going out just me and her but she insisted my couz and his gf join along... It all ended up....... bad...... I met couzs and sm friends and one of couz's gf and headed town...... Was awaiting for her call coz she says she'll be in town by ard7 pm and gon meet up with me and guess what time i gt to meet her...... 10 plus....... and the she even say she can't take long coz she'll be goin home with her friend...... i just got disapointed..... 2nd weekend sucked because of her again... i sent her to starbucks california fitness, and i went to long john for a day's meal.... alone........ Then she came along just when i tot of being alone...... she went off halfway to catch her last bus..... ryt after i bumped into Wan... she said she'll call me later..then in a while met the forever-smiling Isaac the Muay Thai boy....... we had a chat for sm time before we hailed a cap hm..... Waited....... she didn't call maybe she's asleep........the next day came and i called her and she said she wasn't feeling well and went to bed early.. but woke up in the middle of the nyt and went online or something and went back to bed at 4am when she could've called me....... then she wanted to hung up coz she just woke up and will call me back after she have "woken up" properly...... i won't really hold high hopes that she'll call though...Coz i guess she must've go back to sleep and would just forget that she say she'll call.....let's see wut the 3rd week will bring..... FUCK! just remembered she say she goin out with a bunch of guy friends or sumthin with a car and sm bikes...sumthin lidat... so maybe i wun even get to see her...... ;( the 4th weekend is the last weekend before confinement and it's already fasting month...... the after that confinement....... my mind is saying let go......... but my heart say give me and her sm time to work it out......... I dun give up easily......

2005-09-13T02:48:00.000-07:00

Got together with A,then B came back in my life.......why is she B??? Coz she lyk biskot hilang2 kan diri..... Then we met again, it's so nice to see her again after so long.... but i had to bring her down with the "bad news" that i've got someone oready.... She was like "sob,sob" and i felt rilli bad..... but wut to do, u can't make everyone happy..... But i'm gonna stick to the words which i say to her......" Dun worry, we can still be gd friends, and still hang out together with "mokmok"(a.k.a "mak") hahahaha...

N yah it's US and WE no more I and YOU.... Me n my object of affection and adoration.... She called, she say she go lie down first....... then i guess she fell asleep........ haizzzz..... well it should be unintentional..... Well it's just a few days...... gotta get used to it..... gonna go on for months.... Well i'm all packed up and ready to go ..... Ard 6 hours left to reporting time at Police Academy....... Wish me luck and hope it'll be lots of fun...... that's all for today folks........... Government Dawgs!!!

2005-09-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

Things happen just so freakin fast and you just wished you had more time, or turn back time coz there's just some things that u think u should or shouldn't have done...... Well everything happens for a reason...... Things will just sit nicely in place when u least expect it....... Pretty soon i'm gonna be "botak" again....ahakz..... the last time was like lower sec so long2 tym ago..... haizzzzz..... time do fly by so fast..... Sometimes you just think of sumthin u lost years back more then ever before... but hey let bygones be bygones and so'ons be so'ons....... Cheers..... party hard..... u live life once..... so enjoy it.....

2005-08-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

haizzzzzzz.... another sleepless nyt, Irwan and dear cuz zai came over, ended up showin them a few bfc's showcase... well wut else........ hmmmmmm oh yah..........Saturday was great.... went to track with the scrambler boys..... 1st tym rode on a scrambler. and first big jump..... and 1st big bail...... it managed to get quite alot of air in the jump that it was like slow motion..... and there's where my mind just went dumbfounded and i don't know wut to do and i land to much on the front wheel and my instinct just made me jump off the bike and rolled off..... i straight away got up to my feet...... and put my hand up coz it was a great jump and i noe it and i am ok just a couple of bruises and normal wounds,nothin broken n such......

next saturday is bfc's mini concert, some of the boys are just being abit too selfish and that sucks..... coz we wanted as many of us as possible but some are just with the can't be bothered attitude..... It's once a year!!! It's our fuckin anniversary for god's sake!! And the first tym we celebratin it with a mini concert..... Even Rixal (who have been missin for months due to N.S) and Wadi(who have been with usonly as a friend who comes to support and have no dancing experience) shows more interest have more spirit and more effort to commit........ It's a shame, it's a pity.......... well if this is the way it's gonna stay......... then after i gt my posting in N.S, maybe i'll just pursue on my vehicle lisences, and grab a scrambler for track, and a vintage classic scooter as a side bike/ chill out bike...... And maybe just stop dancing or better yet switch to a crew i can depend on....... But if i'm in a new crew, nothing will be the same....... nothing will be wackier and fun as the boys from BREAK FORCE CREW........ I treasure our friendship and averything we built together, the brotherhood,spirit and all....... But well maybe wut they say is true....... All good things have to come to an end one day..... Fuckin sad but Fuckin true i guess...... sings......"Remember our glory days...........nothing gettin in our way"

2005-08-05T04:05:00.000-07:00

Self expression in a club the nyt before and woke up after an hour plus of sleep for morning class, not rilli a class but more like a consultation session......... Ryt after that, James called and we went to a coffee shop outside sch for lunch........ then had sm puffs, and back to sch where i found the sofa untaken and there's where i took a nap for 3 hours plus or so..... before Wadi called and met me there when we practiced part of august's show...... my FYP is so far so good........ seem to have other people's work worse then mine...hahahaha i think..... i hope i finish this project, and enjoy my "boys i blue" days comin up ryt after semester and sch ends... Ryt now.... my mind is doin things whithout thorough thinkin and all i want is to get my FYP ryt this tym round and all other stuffs let it be the way it should be even if it's for the worse..... except for anything to do with my crew coz BFC is my project!!! ahakz.... then i wanna feel the feeling of falling in love again, the feeling of being so special to someone who is special to me...... to whom i do not no, maybe i haven't even met her or maybe its' someone i merely juz noe she is alive..... i dunno, only tym will tell...... well maybe i should try get sm sleep Cheers readers.... if there's any left, since it's been sm tym i stopped releasing my thoughts here

2005-08-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

Oh my god she's so daym cute....... After the show at cineleisure yesterday suddenly a guy walks to me, i tot he wanted to say "good show" or sumthin, but he said "My friend wants to take pic wif ya" I looked over his shoulder my heart skipped....... a freakin cute girl was there... headed towards her and introduced myself and she said her name too but it was kinda soft so i can't rilli catch her name...... shit...too bad....... then as we faced the camera...... i tot of putting my arms ard her shoulder but i was still kinda wet with sweat so i just leaned my head slightly towards her and she did u..... She said thanx with the cute voice and i say welcome as she smiled a cute smile..... she and her fren went up the escalator.....she was still smiling but i think she too shy to like look back at me i was like "fainting" ahakz..... then when she's out of sight i realised it was dumb, not to like ask for her number or at least her email or give my email to her...... Coz if i did so i could take a look at that very sweet pic of me and the cutie...... but the dumbfound me srewed that all out..... ahakz...... well hope to see u again soon, maybe during bfc's mini concert at esplanade....... Sings"Woooooooooowooooowoooowooo, mysterious girl, i wanna be close to ya" khekhekhekehkhe

2005-07-29T23:16:00.000-07:00

LIfe's been as boring and stagnant as ever...... except for the self expressin in clubs and doin ma shit on stage during shows... that's the only excitement i have.... I'm just struggling to put my Project together..... some of the guys aren't very co-operative and that sucks cause i could never get all of them to come down at a common time and date.... And if this is going to keep on happening..... my project will sure suck and if it does suck so bad till i flung it AGAIN......then i swear i'll just switch off my handphone,n wait eagerly for reporting date at the Police Academy..... If this really happens, yall gonna see the Syafiq yall never knew or maybe u won't even see me around anymore....... Sometimes i just wish people would just be a lil less selfish with their time...... For those who care pray for me...... for those who don't just dun give a fuck bout me n my life n just mind your own business, n to those it may concern..it's not only for me...it's for the crew...... all i want is for ur support and co-operation....just a couple of days where the 9 constant ones to be present and do the group shots, intro vid and the shots for the pages..... yall got important things to do in life and so do i, this is the most important thing in life for me ryt now...... And for BFC's august mini concert..... hope we all gon keep it tyt coz it should be my last showcase before i stop performin for some tym......
peace out readers........ with peace,love and respect............SjR

2005-06-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

Been awhile..There's been nothing except... Headaches.......Stress........ Major project...........Shows.........$30 pocket money...apart from the once in a while show money which i have to wait weeks for....... I think i wanna go dance,and get drunk and wasted.......but it'll only ease my mind for a lil while........ i seek and hope to find what will ease my mind for a long long tym hopefully till infinity and beyond.......life sure sucks big time......... gimme the light oh lord almighty.....

2005-06-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

Finally got my 50bucks they cut from my pay last time..... Went to school after that.... supposed to meet Sham right after he end around 5.30pm but he gt sumthin up and can only meet me like 8.30pm!! chilled at the libary...... sufi bumped into me and used my ibook for awhile till he had to leave with his galfren.... hahaha daym this smallest things make me jealous and wish i wasn't single.....daym...... Well good news my bro just got a new bike...SUPER FOUR!!! woohoo..power sia it's in silver..... daym.... haven't got a ride on that baby yet....
when the hell am i gonna get my lisence ahakz...... maybe i just sacrifice my savings for ipod for my practs....... Anybody think that's a good idea???Yess???nooo???

2005-06-01T02:13:00.000-07:00

i think i dun wanna bother her anymore.....heard from a fren that she's some sort irritated........ maybe a tiny bit.... but nevermind i dun wanna irritate her even more...... i noe how she feels..been in a similar situation myself....... Well stick to hi - bye friends should be enough ah..... She'll be happier that way..... well that's what matters...... she being happy..... she happy, i happy..... nieway there's so many girls out there, yet again, no girl, won't die....... I'll just be like "free"... Well too free... to do wut i want..... but fuck it lah enjoy the freedom..... when i still got it..... hmmmmmmm....actually i can't wait for N.S.... meet new friends and enjoy a whole new experience....... rilli can't wait hahahahha but i must make sure i pass my FYP this time round.... Hmmmm....me a police man???? Still can't imagine that sia.....ahakz..... Can meet Omar.... he'll still be policeman when i get in......khekhekhe n Zaf too...... too bad the senior Jahs who were in police...O.R.D oready...... hahahahah For now it's just me, Dance and FYP!!!! Daym i still want my ipod!!! Left with 250 only..indulged myself by spendin on a freakin dope jacket........foolish??? Actually could've got the15gb 2nd hand for 250 but missed the auction coz i haven't fixed my internet connection settings to make it work......so couldn't go internet, then couldn't contact seller or even place a bid....
hahahaha so now i still gt the 250 n no ipod and no offer for an ipod ard that price.... Daym...... sucks man......

2005-05-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

runny nose,cough,fever,and muffled hearing the sickness is killing me!!! Damn irritating...... But i'll be ok soon i hope..... Decided not to go to the doctor's to save time and money.... School re-opened.... 1st day,class canceled.2nd day, no class,third day, got class but juz dun feel like going..... coz still with the stupid flu virus in me...... But hey 1st day i got to noe this cute freshie chick from my cuz....... Well. nuthin wrong. juz makin frenz..... But juz hate it when someone is sort of having stronger feelings for me..... coz i dun have that strong a feeling for em.... and i see them as juz friends..... This always happens, the one u r thinkin of the most usually are the one that is thinkin of u the least and the one u thinking of less are the ones thinking of you more...... sad but true...This just makes u rilli2 bad... hahahaha fuck it lah...as i thought earlier i'm livin in "khayalan tingkat tinggi"....... Dreams are meant to be dreams not converted to reality.....At least most dreams should be like that.....

So readers that's all for today........pray i'll get well soon......... have a good day!! And yah happy b'dae to elize........ ;)

2005-05-21T00:32:00.000-07:00

Fuckin bastard!!! Cut my pay!! Just got back from Bangkok and was lookin forward to be home again till the fucker cut my pay..... 20 bucks for not signing out one of the day.. well maybe that's my fault....... n another 50 bucks coz i was accused of being absent when i had someone to replace me that very day....... I'm gonna settle it tommorow.... even if it takes me to scream vulgarities to clear things out.... haahahaha.... Gaji potong. no more ipod ah!!!! Fuckit lah next few months ahead then maybe can.... hahahaha

I'll update if i settle that matter on my next post or sumthin..... About bangkok..... Nice place nice girls....(not all of course) Shop,Shop,Shop........ hahahhaha
Wish i had more money and time so that it would be a more brilliant experience..... khekhekhekhekhe

2005-05-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

"KU ingin terbang ke awan, menyapai bintang-bintang dalam kegelapan malam......
ku idamkan satu taman, dan juga mahligai ynag indah tak ternilai....
tapi semua hanya khayalan, yang bermain dalam fikiran......
tak mungkin dapat ku bertahan.....
Yang tinggal hanyalah impian.....
namun ku masih mencuba untuk punya segalanya....
walau pun bertahun lama......
semogakan terlaksana...." -Gerhana Ska Cinta
'Mimpi'

One of my favourite bands...... And above are the lyrics of my all time favourite song by them..... really nice to be sung when you're high ;p Not many people know bout this band.... But their recent album changed that.. the new album consists of collabos with Radhi from OAG, Too Phat, Teh Tarik crew.....blablabla..... The collabo with OAG's lead singer is my favourite among the new album... Titled "Senyuman Ragamu" which is a translated into malay version of their other song "Only love can make you smile.. The lyrics and tune is nice...sweet romantic..... wish i could sing it to that someone..."Kan ku bina sebuah singgahsana,untukmu berlindung dari hujan basah,pabila malam, ku termimpi kan wajahmu, takkan jiwa raga ku berakhir nikmatnya ah.." . but even if i have the chance i'll go speechless and just stand there and melt to her beauty and sweet smile..... just like few days back when i bumped into her at Pasir ris Mrt with her hair she calls "like pussy" but hey girl you still have the sweet smile ;).... Haven't been bumpin into her for weeks or months!! and finally bumped into her in our common hometown... SHe smiled and waved before i did... Coz i was meltin in her eyes the first few seconds upon seeing her.... then she asked where i headin i answered, i asked her back,she answered,then we bid goodbye.... that smile make me weak at the knees.... Been wanting to ask her out on a date, but well the chances don't seem to be there... Well one with such beauty and sweetness you can only dream of makin her your gal.... so i'll be glad enough she know i exists....... ;)

Well people i goin bangkok with my ayah in a few hours tym... Be back on friday. then saturday party all nyt!! Who wanna join??? but must be 18 n above.... underage later sit outside the club...kesian.... khekhekehkeh.. so long and goodnyt.......

2005-05-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

End of the month and i'll be back in sch again.... and 5th September, the semester will end...by then i should make sure i'm gonna pass my fyp this tym...... all becoz..... i'm goin to N.S on the 13th of september.. i dun wanna defer coz it's clear that it's not clashing with the semester and of course i wanna pass this time.... And oso because i'm not goin to Army!!!! I'll be part of the boys in blue..... I'll be a police man!! Woohoo! I'm so glad i gt to escape army.... ahakz... Dun get me wrong by thinking i m afraid of army lah, i lembek lah..... Even if i get Army, i bet it'll be fun....I dun wanna go army coz it's like 90% simulation no realism.... Unlike Police and Civil defence where you have to face real life situations..and it'll be more fun... So people, dun be surprised if few months down the road, u'll see me in Police uniform..... khekehkhkehkehekhe

Daym.....finally got to chat with her...chat chat chat... n then she was like "brb" and i fell asleep!! ahakz juz to wake up knowin she replied..... but off course already offline....... haizz...... tough luck... better luck next tym i hope ;p

2005-05-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Another nyt at the club, another nyt drinking............ But i'm ok only tiny bit high unlike my couz..... as always..... he got drunk... but this time he lay flat on the floor.... with arms wide open! ahakz.. we have to wait till 5 before hailing a cab..... Thoseee with the bikes sent hm the girls and we all met at Diq's void deck...... Sat outside his house, drank rose syrup, and gobled down mee goreng...before half of them head hm and the other half moved on to diq's place for some sleep..... The crowd last nyt was too packed...... seemed that there are more guys then gals..... but i dun give a fuck... when i club..... it's just me and the music...... Next week ChinaBlack!!! Who wanna join....... ??? Wednesday nyt............. Ladies free entry for yall ladies nyt........

2005-05-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

this girl started msging me again,another girl replies my msgs, that girl msgs me....... but The Girl didn't even reply a simple How are you msg..... i haven't been seeing her online for so so long,n her hp is the only means of contact...... maybe she just can't be bothered..... maybe her hp was off..... maybe her line is terminated....... maybe change number.........well maybe i'll try again sometym soon..... but this is just makin me hesitate more before msging her..... i'm just living in "khayalan tingkat tinggi".... "Hayalan tingkat tinggi" it sure is.... the dream is too good to be true........ Well miracles do happen but i supposed not this tym.....

2005-04-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

People do miss me, but sometimes i just tend to miss one out of that group of people more..... But i have no right, coz she's not missing me but i'm missing her.... What u want u can't get........... well if u dun do anythin that is........... hahahahahahha i dunno why i even typed that down.... well,i've been workin my ass off..... to counter the lonely feelin..... and hopefully save up tonnes of money n maybe get an ipod which is another "artefact" that counters loneliness..... All i do is work go hm sleep... only maximum twice or thrice per week, i'll be out with some friends who still do contact me....... Life is such a bore..... hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i should just ask "her" out............ if she'll reply my msg ;p if not then nvm...... next tym then can msg again if i feel like it....... Daym the sight of her make me weak in the knees....... but that sight in a long time i haven't been seeing ,that pretty face, that sweet smile and that cute wave at me when we occasionally bump into each other..... I'm clueless.... why do i see only her, there's so many girls out there...... C'mon fiq..... think! think hard wutya gonna do next!!

2005-04-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm a fuckin bummer..... All i wanted a few minutes ago is to book my RTT and continue on with my practical lesson for class2b,(pract 2 to be exact)...... after all those months,only pract 2 how pathetic.... I was stuck at pract 2 because i had to concentrate on my FYP which i fuckin failed in the end due to some screw ups and had to be retained for another semester...... Then holidays came finally got worked,get pay,deposit in bank a/c but keep on overspending and didn't have enuff money to book RTT and my pract the first few weeks(i get weekly pay).... Then i borrowed some money from my cuz in order not to waste time, but it took me some time before i finally came across a cash deposit machine.... then i deposited the money in, went home, went online, attempted to pay then got a MOTHERFUCKIN error!!!!! And tried to pay again and they say my card dun allow the transaction meaning there's not enough FUCKIN funds in my a/c.....meaning the error just ate my fuckin money..... i went to the nearest atm to my house and my assumption was ryt, they have eaten my money.. gave a call to the driving centre, they said they needed black n wyt record of the missing money (transaction)...... Fuck lah sia!! that's gonna waste me even more time.... wasted 6 months and still at pract 2,failed my fyp some more..... and now this stupid online error!!!! I never get what i want..... the most is that i just get close to it just to let it slip away from my grasps..... i wish i could have that someones' shoulder to cry on or sumthin or her listenin ear to hear me whine my heart out... But i just lose my chances on everythin so far.... So even gettin close to her must be just a mear dream,or fantasy..... No dream girl of mine wants a bummer like me anyway... Have a gd day everyone.... i'll just fuck it and hope someone cheer up my day or better yet days.... Could only hope it's her.....could only hope...... could only fuckin hope......

2005-04-20T17:31:00.000-07:00

"Lonely........ I'm mr lonely.....i got nobody to call my own........" This stupid song is stuck to my head maybe coz the lyrics i can just relate too...... Bout the past..... makes me feel bad...... and reminds me that i am lonely, that i do feel lonely.... and sometimes you are left with nobody but yourself by your side.... people just get busy or lazy... when you are just so free and brain dead from thinking how to kill time...... Well sometimes i just sleep it away but i'll feel that it's such a waste.... Maybe i just drop by MIZ later.......coz i noe peeps over there confirm will be there..... And maybe i'll give a beep to everyone in my phone book and see who's free...... Well maybe those i feel like msg-ing only..... "just sail...... belly up to the clouds....rocks scrapin our backs..........to breathe in the air will be the only thing that you have......." Drown myself in emo tunes for now.... maybe some more Peterpan..... well that's emo too to a certain extent...... hahahaha....... or maybe i'll just sleep it all away... Daym!! i hate this stegnant, dull, and stale period of life..... When will this end?!?!?!?!?!?

2005-04-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

Started the day by ending another day of midnight shift at work..... Puffed a ciggy, boarded bus number 53 and took a seat at the far end on the laft side of the bus and just trying not to fall in deep slumber... Managed to stay awake for 3 quarters of the journey... But the sleepines got the better of me.... Dozed off.... some sort of movement waked me up to find the bus is seconds away from my stop..... pushed the button.... the bus stopped soon after and i rushed down... the bus moved off.... i realised one thing to my dismay, i dropped my wallet in the bus.... I sprinted like i never sprint before chasing the bus, one stop, two stop, 3 stop..... i got closer and slowly further and further and fatigue sets in... i stopped running and started panting like a stupid dog... I walked quickly back home...... and the minute i reched, i banged my parent's bedroom door.... and told them i need to get to bishan fast.... because there's where the bus route ends..... and i was desperately wanting to check out wether anybody handed it to the lost and found... my dad me and his phantom, rode off, we were kinda lost coz we followed the bus route which was full with bends.... My dad finally just used his gut feelings and we reach bishan interchange..... Where i gave one of the biggest sigh of relief because my wallet was sitting nicely on the lost and found drawer..... Thank you dear almighty for letting my wallet land on the hands of an honest soul who handed it over to the lost and found.... If not for that i'll be like "dramatised" for losing my sch cards.... atm card,debit card, 10 bucks along with some coins, my adidas wallet that contains all that,and MY IDENTIFICATION CARD!!!! PHEEEEEWWWWWW!!!

2005-04-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

Feelin fuckin lazy today.... Was at home the whole day..... on my i book......... on PS2...........on my ibook ..... on PS2..... the cycle goes on and on... And then the frequent funny lonley feeling comes.. and i picked up my hp to see who i wanted to msg.... who ever i haven't been in touch for some time.... then i dunno why but i did, i just msged this girl i asked for number way back.she's sweet,but she like was suddenly quiet after the 2nd day we got to noe..... Well girls...... most girls i like that they come and go with the wind.... I just tried my luck msg-ing her n she suprisingly replied...... We chatted via sms for awhile before she suddenly stop replying....... I keep encountring girls like this,strange but true.... Well are girls nowadays all like that????..... hahahahahahshe must have her reasons for actin like that i guess.. Now the girl on my mind..... One n only "Lil one" been so long since i last met her..... We were supposed to have waffle ice cream together.... If i can choose to have a lil sis i'll choose a lil sis just like her..... Well.... life seem pretty dull nowadays..... Dear almighty, bring on some excitement in my life please........

2005-04-06T02:47:00.000-07:00

hmmmmm to think back, string of unfortunate events happened after she dumped me, as if she left me pulling lady luck with her..... Well.... neh..... It's just fated ...... but well a couple of weeks before it'll be 6 moths that i am single........ Don't wanna rush, faster crashes harder..... Well only time will tell,only time will tell....... but sometimes....you'll dissapoint someone if u chose someone else because you chose who you like most..hmmmm happened to me in the pass before the feeling of guilt inside sucks, but it jus the way it is... and always, it's just so hard to even msg someone you fancy eventhough you've already got her number...... It's like the words just won't come out.. You'll think she's too "Wow" for you... and she won't bother a nobody like you....... well or maybe i'm saying this from my low self-esteem point of view??? Well i don't really give a fuck ah...... The past tells me that it hurts to think too much...Because only time will tell, time will tell......... Once in a few blue moons then i could see that sweet sweet smile....Hmmmmmmm when will i see that smile again?????

2005-03-23T03:35:00.000-08:00

Finally updatting my blogg.. Coz i can't manage to go to sleep... Flung FYP..... accidntally deleted working files..... But fuck it extra one more semester only... Din gonna be wif me his submitted CD was corrupted... We'll make a better job this tym bro.... Life's as always sucky... Yah been a bummer juz now, took 39 hm juz now but overslept all the way to Khatib,bought isngle trip tix to Pasir ris mrt just to noe the train only stops at toa payoh. lucky my dad fetched me after all the panic..... Phew! Next on my mind, saturday's show, we haven't been practicin some more. haiyo!! I oso dunno how.... Then Sunday i got show wif Wilson worth 70bucks... finally nice amount of cash flowin in..... My parents haven't noe about me having to stay for another semester.... well. they'll noe sooner or later...... i bet they'll gonna be fuckin dissapointed.... my dad bought ibook for me some more, but i still fail!! Well, they start to learn that i'm a bummer...... ahakz life, you'll fall flat on the face sometimes....... I think i wanna bomb my hair! Woohoo!! And make my head look bigger like cartoon..... woohoo puffy hair.... nice i like.... well, let me consider properly first and you'll see if i'll do it or not ;) So long readers

2005-02-26T16:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, show at 3logy was some sort impromtu but it was fun...... few more days and extra 100 bucks in my pocket juz for that couple of minits doin freestyle.. ahakz..... After that had dinner with the ol workplace peeps includin my bro and fahmi n rudy were there too, with the botak head waiter makin freakin funny jokes of lubricants and all ahhahahaha.... then bfc was like conflicting and one of us just lost patience..... i kinda lost abit of patience on him by saying things i shouldn't but lucky i didn't lost all of my patience, feel bad, but well shit juz happens man.... Our crew have been together for years, it's like a relationship, with commitment and sacrifices, every single of us have been givin that since we started, just hope each and everyone continue doing that,well at least the main thing is never give up on people when u are the one who is giving up.... Well only god can tell our fate....... till my next post people....

2005-02-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

Started the day wakin up late for project discussion, and encountered some probs wif the project and got to ITE simei later then planned,and when i reached there, the guard shooed me off and say i require a visitor pass..... i then got the pass with the help of my fren...... took a couple of puffs outside and head to ITE Simei's dance studio..... I was somehow like their dance instructor for the bboys there..... Then we were done for the day my singlet was quenching wet i hung it at the hand rails at the studio and forgot to take it back, daym that's my faberet singlet sia.... hahahahaThen headed to Tamp with rudy and wan sky they went home, and i waited at MIZ for rudy to accompany me go down Queenz for this dan comp thingy briefing.. End up i had to go alone and wait for nothing....hahahahaah just to noe that the area we are supposed to dance in is pathetically small... And i headed straight home after that, juz to realise i left my Darkroom process project,the most expensive and time consuming project, somewhere along the journey to Queenz. fuck ah,i wanted to keep that for memorie's sake...... Yesterday just sucks to the core..... ARGGGHHHH!!! Hope today gon be ok..... I need to lay in someone's arms and juz let her comfort my worries and torments away..... But the problem is i dun have a "her" I think it's difficult to find a"her" well let me rephrase it, it's not difficult but i am........ SO long readers......... Bet your yesterday went better then me...

2005-02-23T02:41:00.000-08:00

"Void deck daredevils"!!! hahahahaha wut the hell crapy headline, one pic on the frontpage and another 2 of me on the article...... So many came down for the photoshoot but i was in 3 out of four of the featured pics,not fair at all..... I get quite a number of "I saw you in the newspaper.." or "newspaper boy"...... But well that's just worthless attention..... The article wasn't so bad but they made itr sound like the sport is very dangerous and all and not touching enough on the true meaning of the sport...... Well media always spoils the facts, they are best in doing does.....

Well it was 22nd february, Bob's (owner of Miz) b'day dropped by Miz with Wan sky and celebrated Bob's b'day there, we had cake, sliced mango....,ice lemon tea and Ramli burger Special....all in the shop. On funny incident, we locked Haniff in the shop and left him inside while we acted as if we were goin off... We then headed near coffee bean and slacked and laughed our asses out to some jokes we shared....... It ended out as a nice 22nd february, thanks to Khai,bob,slim,wan sky(timon) burn(pumba) widya's bro(forgot his name), and haniff (the guy who is left with one ball(testies) coz lucifer bit of the other one) Ahakz..... So long readers till the next post then........

2005-02-15T23:39:00.000-08:00

And yah..... Just remembere an incident that brighten up my day with a zillion laughters...... Was in the studio with din, showed him my PK clips for my project...... He rilli like it and asked me to teach one of the moves... i did it, he tried alot of times and keep lyk, landin on his hand or bangin into the cabinet!!!! Hahahahhahaha Cute sia..... Nut he still wanna try again and again, he was some how like a human Crash Test Dummy!!! Wakhakhakhakhakhakhakha!!! Madness sia... Hahahahahah U rock KLS!!!!

2005-02-15T23:23:00.000-08:00

Left my ibook's charger at sch...... Daym...... I'll be there early morning and hope it's still there, and if it's there, i'll happily continue my project with the company of ever so cheerful and good-hearted Zu......... My project have more plans of modification due to mistakes mistakes then progress........ I'm sick of it... But i need to hold on a lil longer...... I have to push myself harder........ Couple of weeks more to finish it and make sure i graduate with it...... Haizzzzzzzzz.... Then can i find my heart's desire........ to be in love again ;p Well, not to find a lover, but just get to know people,and if it's the ryt one,i will noe it's the ryt one........ And while awaiting N.S, i'll work at the same ol place Apron site of Changi Air port........ And earn money which i will partly use to save up, shop, and party......... Sings "Why should i move,when i cannot dance...." khekhehekehkhekhe.... Aight that's all for today readers.... Remember, No matter how stressed up u are, never get ur temper get the better of u, that's one of the stupidest thing god's creation can do, just smile alot,joke around and laugh alot.... ;p Cheers......

2005-02-15T01:55:00.000-08:00

Woke up sick, vomitted and still havin a big headache....got out of bed freakin late, went to studio wif bfc peeps, then chill at pasir ris central for a while wif rudy and wan, and head home by foot.... i wanna get some ret now

2005-02-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

Tv production class,and then straight to town then to Phuture......Great company was there.... Zai,farhan,Zaf,their frenz,jeeb,shida,lyn,fahd,shidiq,jack,and pals....wani and *ehem* her sister...... even met a female couz there...... Well had fun though i was like dancing alone,not being able to find the others,like 70% of the tym...... Hahahahahha......... But daymmmm...... I blew it,like i always do......... Well.....As if i even stand a chance.....

She the kind of girl i want to get to noe and hope we got chemistry and then start the next chapter of my
life's novel of love, one which i want to go on and go on till it's impossible to to put an end to the flowery
words in it...... Well the big words are WANT and HOPE...But well a person with low self esteem and shy-ness
like me..... It's not even close to possible....... Ahakz....... i think i should get some sleep.... I've promised
myself not to hope so much for things like this anymore....... Well the emo in me is startin to speak
again......daym i'm a s.n.a.g.......Ahahahahahhaha!! I thhink u suck big tym SYAFIQ!

2005-02-08T02:12:00.000-08:00

Was doin my project when the radio was playin "........I dun want u back......"... Found myself singing along ,and i actually mean the words......hmmmmmm well.... Forgotten bout that part of my past...Moved on well and enjoyin myself to the fullest.. But i noe I'll be back wif commitment some tym in the near future...About when exactly,that's up to dear god to plan out for me..

I've been on my ibook like everyday,at home and outside.... She's my baby.....hahahahhaha I'm doin my pk project if not chattin wif peeps or surfin the net or watchin vids (*ehem* variety of vids) when i switch my baby on..... Next thing on my mind,Gelare with dearest lil one for waffle ais cream in a few hours, and then PK at town on Wednesday with my PK peeps for the final video shoot for my PK project..... and then...... should be headin China Black wif my other bunch of frenz.... Let's party!! Have a pleasant night/morning readers....... And for the chinese, Gong Xi Fa Cai!! Selamat menyembelih babi (the sembelih babi part are Nazir's words) Hahahahhahahaha peace out.....

2005-02-05T03:41:00.000-08:00

Juz can't get myself to sleep early, Should be goin to my couzs' place tomorow for some family gathering thingy..... How my day went??? Well.. Ok but still kinda boring.... But enjoyed the couzs day out at town or was it an evening out... weel doesn't matter....
Bumped into Yana mak orang juz now,and she said i'm gettin skinnier....looked in the mirror and couldn't deny.... Weight loss through stress i guess..... All for FYP,Rilli good to hear Siddons say my vids are nice to watch juz now during consultation........
I'm freakin bored most of the time....... hmmmm well let's see wut i should be lookin forward to.... Should be performin at Jam n hop tp, Got this dance comp bfc joinin,ehmmmmmmmmm trickin at the beach with hatta n other pk peeps soon..... and maybe YTF with the one and only lil one......
I feel like going for a run...... a free-run..... hahahaha early in the morning?!?!??!?!?! neh,i'm juz too lazy at this point of the daY..khekehkehkehe juz lay in bed with my beloved IBOOK and maybe do tiny bits of my project...... Hmmmmm or juz stare at the ceiling(maybe) or go kitchen grab a bite or a drink(maybe) watch tricking video(hmmmmm maybe) go find a plush toy of some sort and go talk to it to make myself feel better(HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! That's juz crazy balls.... Won't even do that even in my emo-est state!!) Well gd nyt readers...... ard 1 more month of FYP mental torture before i become free and get ready for N.S...... Confirm army nyer lah....hahahahahha Bet it'll be fun "With my rifle and my buddy and meeeeeeeeeee..................." and yah "When the cold wind blowwwwssssss" Sjr signing off...... Yah to hatta,nazir,frinch,fagan and other PK peeps "PARKOUR FOR LIFE!!!! I'M LOVING IT!!!!" And to lil one u drink lots of water ok we'll have YTF soon hopefully after you are feeling better dear ..... To bfc jam and hop if we gon do it, we gon rock the whole TP,n the comp, give our best shot,we are rusty,but high spirits does wonders,so bring up the bfc spirit "WHAT"S UP DEF JAM CHAMPION!!!!!!"

2005-01-31T01:13:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmmmm, Adidas Fresh at Zouk was great except for the aching empty stomache towards the end and the bloody drunk mat who swung his fist right into rudy's face and mine too..... Luckily we managed to like shift our heads abit so it did'nt hit smack directly instead his fist just like hit slightly and sort of "skided" past...... I still have the scar on my face and rudy, he's eyes jinda swelling..... Fucked up drunk Mat..... Luckily we managed to settle it with words and not exchanging of fists and kicks....

The next day,hung out with rudy and Wan Sweet Molly tagged along for a while, Then Me,rudy and bro went PK with Zek and peeps,includin my couz....at city hall.... Nice.......... But yah the Freakin Upset of the day was,my dad gimme 50bucks for the weekend i fuckin lost it on my way to the busstop near my home..... Hahahahahahahahahaha! fuck sia hahahahah.

An then came sunday, Supported some peeps at Rock Master X, Zek got 2nd in the Dyno comp, you rock Zek!!! PK for life... Then went PK with the same bunch of people and by chance met 3 other Traceurs, one of them is jeeb's bro..... I became somewhat like the trainer for some time...... They looked up on me, well i looked up to them coz they have the will to even try a new trick i taught them..... K ciao, i got a demsel in distress to rescue........

Baaaaaaaaccck!!!

2005-01-27T17:01:00.000-08:00

Hello readers..... Bacck after the long m.i.a...... Been bz with my Final Year Project... Doin on Le Parkour... Dope ass shit people... Got close with some traceurs(people who do parkour) in the process of doing the project and been jamming and trickin eversince.... Wanna know about my life and how it's been??? Plain boring except for the Parkour bit,and the once in a while party out with bunch of peeps....Been dating around but it's not that i'm fussy or what but i just can't seem to psych myself up to get into a relationship.... Well that's nothing to rush on anyway, there'll just be a moment with the right one where everything fits nicely in place yet for sure it's not now nor anytime soon,but well who knows but i'll just let nature take it's course....... Maybe the one i've been looking for is there all the while right in front of me.... Well only god knows the answer.... And yah thousand of THANK YOUS to my one and only Ayah for buying for me an IBOOK... Like what i said to rudy and khai,"Kalau aku ader girl pun, confirm aku lagi sayang ni ibook".... hahahahaha I love my baby(the ibook of course)!!! Have a pleasant afternoon people,i got a parkour interview to go......

2005-01-01T19:51:00.000-08:00

New year eve was tiring,but it was fun ,3 shows in one day from night till wee hours of the morning and ended with some self expression on dancefloor to dancehall,hiphop and techno..... Wahahahahah "i'm walking in the sun and round and round" Merepek sia.... Thanks a whole to bfc,tp peeps,joop's cosins,gfs of peeps, Wadi and d sweet n sexy Yana part2.....for the great new year eve....

2004-12-25T16:34:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmmm..... Woke up with a bad headache, vomitted a few times,mum offered panadol and i got back to rest and felt slightly better. I don't know how i got this some sort of tension headache or something which comcentrates on only one side of the head. There's pain but there's a joy too,a joy of suffering... a joy of knowing humans are weak and humans are helpless... It's things like this that make me have a stonger faith in god..... Well today's gonna be bored and when i'm bored, i'm gonna be letargic,and more and more lazy and that sucks.... well i suck..... If i'm not this unwell, i'll probably tag along with some frenz to the beach or plan to go do some samba soccer... Well maybe i need a break anyway...

Meetin Ira on monday, and lil one on wednesday, it's been so long since i last met up with them... They like my younger sisters oready.... heheheheh..... And yah i'm going to Miz 29 to grab my cute Adidas originals duffel bag,i promised to come ,and they promis to give a special christmas price for it.... Noice........

Well i'm in search for the happy place and i know i'll find it sooner or later and good luck,hope you do too you needs lots of luck in that. Some people are just not worth people's time like me and yah you too.. We fall under the "difficult" people category..... hehehehhe. I might be still emo and all but i never want to go through the ripping of my heart again and by the same god's creation.... Once is enough,twice would be too much to handle.... As much as i want to make you never exist in my life,i have you stuck in my mind,i wish i could go into my mind and kill all the thoughts of you but i can't i'm weak,i'm not god.. I'm his servant and so are you that's why you cried.. But i still haven't cry since the day we split... Getting stronger in a sense or well maybe you are just not worth my tears.. Hehehehe.... Why the hell i got you stuck to my mind, of all people..... Hahahahaha. Well just a test i'll have to go through...... Well i gues all the emo start coming back coz i'm not feeling well i guess...... hehehehhe......

K ciao readers, i wanna go drop by MIz 29

2004-12-25T02:31:00.000-08:00

"It's hard to say that i was wrong...
It's hard to say that i miss you...
Since you've been gone it's not the same...
It's hard to say i held my tongue...
It's hard to say if only...
Since you've been gone it's not the same... "
the used -hard to say

Feeling emo??? I'm not even sure...... Been more clueless bout so many things in life recently. I don't even care. Keep telling myself not nobody can be happy in life at all times... Maybe today her/his day, and tommorow is mine.... Well guess it's not maybe it's a must be i guess.... It's like what my some of my friends say "Belief in Retribution" One day you get fucked so bad and another day,the person who fucked you so bad will get a taste of her/his own medicine.... The best part of this is that it happens at the most least expected times...

Well enough of my theoris of life for now.. Just blogged it out to kill time and share my thoughts.... Feel like changing my template but changed my mind as there is no need to do so i like the way it is, it's "me" enough to be my blog...... And i guess it reminds me of the past but that's good as i can look back on things that happen to me that made me who i am.... If any part of my entry doesn't make sense,then son't blame me i'm sleepy,but my mind just got alot to puke out..... khekhe

And Friday was great... Tracers from TP,NYP,SP and some friends.... Had a jam.... It was so fun.... Parkour was never this fun as a group of people with different personalities get together for a common passion... The highlight of the jam was when Fazli climbed to the top of the freakin high swing and did a fucking clean backflip down... Respect many many........ Will be looking forward for such meetups again... The good thing about parkour to me,is that you get focused, and clear your mind before performing a trick or series of tricks and when that happens, you are like "in the zone" and you are away from every torment you have in your head any other time.... Maybe one day i should call up all the tracers from all over Singapore for a jam together... And i can include those clips for my major project..... Peace out readers.... Have a nice Christmas.... And muslims who celebrate christmas,pergi christmas party ni semuer,don't over do it, Jangan Murtad suah...hahahahahha...... ;p

2004-12-21T02:54:00.000-08:00

Days getting more and more dull...... Almost nothing to look forward to.... Just can't get my inspirition...... but i got a feeling i'll stick to a video involving some parkour...... I just don't know why out of a sudden.... my life seem so dead... The only thing i look forward to is the sense of achievement through free-running........ Run free...... run away and be free, free from troubles, free from worries....., free from bad yesterdays....

2004-12-16T15:02:00.000-08:00

What happened past few days??? Nothing much....... Played pool with Rudy and wan, some Parkour..... ,MAJOR PROJECT ideas never seem to work out.... self expression in clubs...... To Wan Ros,It's funny when we dance any ol how in clubs and people actually look and applause and go like "yeah".... Well self expression through body movements and body language is the best way i can express myself...... Funny thing was that Wan tought he saw *ehem* last night at phuture.... but he don't think it's her...... She's too busy to club anyway.... If only it was her i wanna dance with her till the light goes on.... Daym i miss her!!

2004-12-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

HipHop fest was a disaster.....We finally got ourselves together and spirits up but there were major delays due to the bad wether and our slot was chucked aside into the dustbin! Many came to see us and wasn't even lookin forward to Fique.......... But sorry for dissapointing you all people....

Decided to join some peeps to go party..... At one of the most farked up clubs in town HRC... hahahaha well most of the guys were high.... I just drown my sorrows with the music..... We were having fun,skankin and bootyshakin till some one molested one of our friends(this white dude)'s girl friend and so he approached the MALAY guy and say sumthin like " What the fuck are you doin?" ANd there it goes. the farked up MALAYS start whackin him up with fists,beer cans and beer bottles......... Even after the white dude was brought aside, the fight continued between the MALAYS there, don't know for what reason..... Soon The riot 5-0's came rushing in to stop the fight............. At first we thought only the white dude got the bashing but some of my guy peeps got some too.... including my friend's sister...... Fark man...... One of my frenz keep on saying "JANTAN DAYUS!!!........POMPAN PUN NAK SEBAT TAKDER CARA SIA!!" heheheheh Then chilled at eastcost till morning before flagging down cabs for the ride home..........

i hate it when people ask me about the element of the past when all i can do is shrugg my shoulders and tell them i dun wanna talk bout it..... It starts to hurt again everytime that happens..... I'm like invisible in her world right now but be it...... It's just life..... There's always a reason behind it but to all you out there... I don't wanna hear her name..... Unless she like walk pass us or something so i can get a glimpse of the face i've been wanting to look at for what seem like ages before and after this heart started to bleed....

2004-12-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

School reopen.. Feels good to be in school again but the stress is already building up....... Still busy with practice, still feeling kinda lonely, and have caught the freakin flu virus in my system...... Daym!! Hehehehehe... But well who knows, maybe it is a blessing in disguise..... Dance,parkour,eat,sleep,go to school... that's about all i ever do nowadays........ Besides rokin to Story of the year's Page avenue album or The Used new album......... I'm sick,lonely,rotten, and bored. Just wish there is some one special to make my day......... I'll be happy enough with a sweet "Good nyt slp tyt" sms........ Or maybe i'm just better of alone with no one to be found........ With "my crew, my dawgs..." Wahahahahahahaha that song makes me laugh.

I watched the movie "Saw".... Brilliant movie...... The "killer" didn't even kill anyone... He make the victims kill themselves..... So daym cool... Violent and the plot is full of unexpected twists..... And the killer's reason for doing so...... He can't stand people who do not APPRECIATE BLESSINGS......... Well appreciate everything people..... Appreciate who you have and what you have..... Never want more then you should or want what you can't get..... It'll only make it even harder to get anything because you are never happy even though you are blessed...... God bless everybody...... What which could be the worse thing that could ever happen in life can be a blessing too...... A blessing in disguise................

2004-12-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

Sunday..... Started off waking up at Wadi's place and heading home and then awaiting confirmation from Wan on what time to meet for the show which we got to know was cancelled that very morning........ Thought of going out with some of the guys includin Wadi in the afternoon but plan was never finalized and i ended up going one with this cutie by the name of ShaSha......

Walked round town,had dinner,walked to P.S where we managed to witness some ochestra thingy for a couple of minutes. walked some more...... And accompanied her while she waited for her bus, before meetin jeebz and wadi to waste some more time...... Plan A, midnight movie,Plan B, club... Hard Rock was around the corner, some friends headin there passed by us and urged us to come along..... and then plan B it is..... Rasta babeh!!!!! hehehehe been so so long since i last stepped into a club..... met some gal friends there and a couple of guy friends too...... Skanked till we got weak in the knees........ Ended the night with some slacking at pasir ris central with a gal and 3 guys talkin abit about N.S and how freakin dumb girls can be in BGRs.... all i can say they are undeniable true facts...... By the way thanks to fahd for my free ride home ;p

2004-11-30T10:51:00.000-08:00

Next thing on my mind.......... To rock the crowd for Hip Hop fest..... It's been awhile since we performed for a hiphop gig...... And maybe spot some cute chicks in the crowd screamin their lungs out for us. ;p If we dun get ourselves together for this, i'm afraid we have to say that bounce2 is a no go... But if we do straighten up our shit for this, then we'll just have to say WATCH OUT CHINA BLACK,WE ARE BACK TO ROCK... And our aim is to be 2nd again, but this time 2nd to none babeh.... So peeps and fans of one and only BFC, come down to cheer for us.... Whithout you goin crazy over our creativity and grooves, we are not what we are today..... The theme we have to go with is Party and we are required to use some dancehall tracks..... Raaaaastaaaaaaaaaa........ We gonna mix some bboyin, skankin and feelin irie moves..... and some urban freeflow or better known as PARKOUR..... Check us out...... My brothers.... Let's makkit tight....

2004-11-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

2 days of half hour non stop freestyle bboyin for 2 days at citylink...... And result, out of breath and the feeling of you can puke any time for the first day, satisfaction for putting up a better and less tiring show on the 2nd, and for both days160bucksricher in total. Got myself new cap and new shoes. Yah and used my pay to share with my bro to get a PS2...... Wooohoooo.... long time never play game, but quite addictive.

And bout today,got 2 shows, one no cash, another 20 bucks. Not feelin wordy today......... Tired, I got work at night, but i love work. where i can some peace and quite(excluding the aeroplane engine sound) to soul-search some more..... have a nice day faithful readers of my journal and random bloghoppers..... And Yah. Today my birthday...... hehehehe but kinda suck planned ahead what to do n with who,even planned to take off, but too bad, lady luck is not on our side......... But at least i know god is,always..... I wanna do maghrib now......

2004-11-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

"You write such pretty words , life's no story book, love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt.............. Do you like to hurt???? I DO! I DO! Did'nt hurt meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

Enough of the emo shit........ Been doing some soul searching......... And i proudly present you the new me..... hehehehehehe........ To think about it, everything happens for a reason..... Some times you play it the way they play, they'll learn how people feel by the way they treat 'em.... But sometimes you get into more trouble.... Because they'll get pretty mad coz they dunno others hurt that much when they do it their way......In simpler words, it's traping them in their own ways with an intentional behavioral change. It didn't work for me at all... Well it was a hell of a mistake...... But we make mistakes to learn... I was so down and emo, i lost sleep,lost my appetite and almost lost my mind.. But that's stupid..... I was just too young, too proud to understand.. I was so emo that i got my emotions get the better of me.. I was so emo that the hurt feeling somehow turned into anger,turned into rage....just because things don't go the way i wanted it to and i got pretty unhappy.. Took advantage of the words that that someone said, and looked for a way to depress that someone, make him/her pay. And in the process i find words to hurt Though i managed to say it in nicer words and whithout any vulgarities of any sort, it indeed pierced through like the sharpest sword... And it hurts to find out you just hurt someone..It's human nature.... You usually hurt first, then feel bad and regret..... Everybody does that but the feel bad and regret part, not everybody shows.... Well now i'm glad to say i'm pretty much AOK..... Feel much better after alot of reflection, some time alone and some PARKOUR-ing with Dham and the boys...... Got like 3 new moves in a couple of days....Wallspin,reverse flip, and barrel vault... Shiok ah!! hehehehe. Up for some samba soccer tonight peeps?? As usual same time same place.....

I pray for my parents everyday........ But i have started praying for you..... I pray you'll face life with patience and an open mind... I pray your family would stay happy and face life's challenges as one and pull through though it's difficult with a single parent........ Damage is done but i forgive and forget,hope you do the same.... As i said earlier i'd rather have you as a friend then lose you completely... So shall we???? Start anew...... start as friends........ How bout i treat you and Hana eat at Swensens or something on the 28th ????? We'll go out as friends...... It's ok if you don't want to..... But i can't help but to say this..."i miss you" ;) It's ok for friends to say that right??????;p

2004-11-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

Being alone alot today...... Started off........

Started off with breakfast at the air port staff canteen by myself. Had roti john,a fried chicken wing and a cup of ribena..... I realised i was the only one sitting alone at the table for 6's.. Loner.... The rest of the table for 6 are occupied by families and colleagues munching on cheap good food...... But the food tased different today...... Or maybe it's just my tongue which has gone numb......... There's a small kid in the next table..... At first he was returning "bye-bye"waves to an old cleaner aunty. Then, he got tired, leaned forward towards the seat kissed the seat...... hehehehe cute. made me smile...But only for a while before i head straight back to home....

Wasted some time before heading off to cuz's place to get my hair cut.... Was thinking i need a new look for the new me..... The me who'll not smile so often. The me who'll be tempermental and much cranky then ever before....... After the hair cut, i just felt like getting a bite... Went to BK. Flashed my student card and purchase the student whopper meal,and upsized the Barley and fries..and a hershey sunday pie.Got my food and carried my tray, with both hands of course, used my shoulder to push the door open to make way to the vacant seat outside. Haven't even passed the door when i dropped my drink.... I t spilled and i managed to save like 1/10th of it........ i headed the vacant seat i aimed earlier on and sat down, took a deep breath and started munching down some fries while staring into blank space.... Slowly, it started to rain it's like as if the heavens feel for me and crying.... it got slightly heavier and i decided to switch places to a vacant seat inside.... went in, threw the tray onto the table and sat down while a couple of fries went flying into the air and onto the ground while the others landed back on the tray..... Slowly finished the fries, then even more slowly finished the burger
and when it comed to the pie i was like struggling...i didn't even finish the pie before i decided to make a move...... But i did gulped down then 1/10th of barley that was left.... was wandering for like 5 minutes or so before i went in NTUC and got myself a can of red bull...... What's next?? Well just sat at the steps leading to the train station and gulped down the red bull very very slowly..... while starin into blank spaces and just wander, woander what went wrong...... And lyrics of emo songs that i can relate to was like blasting in my head...... at the same time i had a couple puffs of nicotine..... Finished my can of red bull, checked the time, and realised i wasted ard 2 hours or so since i stepped out of my couz's place..... 2 hours only?!?!?!? Felt like it was the whole day. Wahahahahahaha! then i went straight home landed on bed ........ auto shut down......

Lyrics i can really really relate to.... Nice poetic language..............
"Falling Down" by Story Of the Year

Now i can't taste
the war that i've been fighting
start to fall
but i'm still standing here
behind the wall fo dying flame

i can't forget

the fight is growing stronger
face to face
with hopes of longer days
to feel asomething we shouldl save

i stand alone i'm on my own
my hands will bleed
i'm holding on to what is gone
what's left of me?

i'm falling down

but i should find my strength in this
a light
the push to reconnect my heart
for what it's meant to give

i stand alone
i'm on my own
my hands will bleed
i'm holding on
to what is gone
what's left of me?

WALK
FALL
STAND AGAIN SO I CAN
WALK
FALL
STAND AGAIN SO I CAN
WALK
FALL
STAND AGAIN SO I CAN

FALL

i stand alone
i'm on my own
my hands will bleed
i'm holding on
to what is gone
what's left of me?

2004-11-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

It's been so so long since i last lost my temper........ But i've lost it thrice in the past 24 hours...

Number 1. Mum was preparing for some guests and was asking for help. I got pissed because she was interupting my "laze in front of the TV" session, and i actually screamed at her.... The expression on her face changed and she walked away speechles.. I felt bad and got my lazy ass up and dragged it to the kitchen to help out.

Number 2. Was at work with Nyett.. We were supposed to unload some cargo before unloading the mail from a Korean freighter plane. But i didn't check the tags properly and unloaded the mail first instead. We realised halfway before we brought them all up. Nyett was irritatingly blaming me for not checking it properly though he himself didn't make sure it was right. I got pissed with that and took one of the cargo and flung it to his face... luckily he managed to block it and it didn't spark into a fists to fists fight or something....

Number 3. Couple of minutes ago... My lil bro was on the comp... I was pissed but still had some patience. And so i waited for my turn, went online and typed number 1 and number 2 which i retyped above.. When suddenly the internet window closed by itself and i got so pissed i screamed at my lil bro blaming him for spoiling the computer and banged the computer desk in frustration. I made such a comotion that my mum came along to check out what happened shook her head. My bro went into his room and just kept quiet.

Sorry Mum... Sorry Nyett...Sorry lil bro... I haven't been myself lately.... I just wish i can go somewhere far far away where no one knows about and just be alone.... so that no one will get hurt... Even if there is someone who will get hurt, it will be me...... Well let it be me........ I don't even know if you all will be able to see the same ol same ol me again..........

save me.you know who you are......

2004-11-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

I prey to god for strength........
The tears keep coming....
The tears filled my eyes......
but i did not cry..........
But it still hurt so much......
Because she never stop running in my head......

2004-11-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

Love, relationships......... Some say "love" is about care and concern, some say "love" is about thrust, some say "love" is the special bond between 2 people(friends,family,boyfriend,girlfriend..etc), some say 'love" is about presence and whole lot of cuddles. The list of definition goes on.. Different people, different perception of "love"...... or maybe nobody knows the true meaning of the four letter word.

Some people cheat their lovers yet the relationship stays strong, some only says "love" but do not mean it, some tries to keep it together but the other seem to not appreciate it, some says "love" one day and "love is too heavy a word, with so much emotion and commitment" the other. Well maybe "love" is a game and i missed the kickoff........

Only time will tell, I wait and bleed..........

2004-11-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

Been awhile since i last posted anything here...... Life's been dull,lifes been sucky. And i had no mood to rant about "my emo phase" because it's not gonna make it any better.... Maybe it does,maybe a little.........

Crying and Screaming from the inside
Trapped by the torment
Only one can be the savior
But the one is the cause of it all

If we never learn to accept somebody for who he/she is, we can never accept anybody else, because nobody is the same........ Think about that........

2004-11-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows the dreadful feeling of failing
How bout failing five times in a row???
It's five times the dreadful of course
I was unlucky to experience that
Really felt like giving up
Others that don't deserve to pass
Made it through due to sympathy,
Or sheer luck....
Controlling patience in myself
was a challenge as it was bearly left
Mind over matter,that's the principle
Did not let my emotions get the better of me
And felt the sense of relief and joy when i hear the azan
Signaling the end of resisting temptations from food for the day
Ramadhan is here to test us,
One of the aspects that is emphasized is patience,
And patience made me get over the failure
Ironicly, two of my newest friends i just got to know
,and not anybody i've always been close to,
Was the ones who have ever given encouragement in this
Thanks guys.....

Guess who.....

2004-11-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

Sleeples mornings after work..... Drew this using flash to kill my time

Guess who this is????
a.Some cute chick
b.The crankiest girl on earth
c.The one i hope is calling me everytime my phone ring
d.The one i hope is SMS-ing everytime my phone beeps
e.The one who always makes my day
f. My "Baby Monzter"
g.The kental dork
h."First lady" in my life
i. The one i'll shed tears for
j. Best and faberet friend
k.A fisherian
l. Nad's best fwen
m.Hana's lovely sis
n. The one i want to meet everyday
o.The Special-est girl in my life
p. My babe
q. my love
r. Mona
s.Monzie

Ans:All of the above

2004-10-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

I feel like pushing you from the highest building in the world
Till you shatter into a million pieces

I feel you aren't doing a good job in what you are supposed to do
I feel that i need a replacement....

Yet i might still keep you because
Of all we gone through together
But i can't stand you..
I can't stand the way you make me mad

But i don't think i want a replacement so soon....
maybe i'm too lazy to find a replacement

Maybe i still need you
Eventough i hate your stinkin guts
Will i get a new handphone to replace you, my pathetic spoilt and outdated handphone????

Only time will tell
................................................................................................................

work

2004-10-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

2345 ...................................................$
Sign in ................................................$
Safety vest .........................................C
Steel toe boots ...................................A
Baggage and cargo ...........................S
Meal packed from home.....................H
Sharing self roll cherry ciggys............
Pallets and containers .......................F
Subuh at the surau ............................L
Change, pack up ...............................O
0745 morning ....................................W
And sign out ......................................$
WORKING .........................................$
NICE!! ................................................:)

2004-10-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

I wish you happy birthday and told you i'll buy you ice cream, and you irritate me with the stupid "lil gigler" and " lil one" shit .........................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
Maybe i should've listen to your sis when she said don't layan you and your msgs... I be nice, i get shit......
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
You better say sorry or you won't get your ice cream ...............
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
Khekhekhekehkehkehkehekhekhekehkehe relax...... act fierce only.... :p
Don't be uptight bout it k ardek..... Just some misunderstanding. And it's settled for now...... But i'm still askin for a sorry if you still want your ice cream ;p

2004-10-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

We are meetin each other lesser and lesser since the month of Ramadhan came.. I understand we have to sacrifice for this holy month, but I want more time with you pretty soon baby monzter.....Please.... Can i?? Can i?? I miss you alot alot babe...

2004-10-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

I went to renew my pass in the morning and did nothing much after that.... I can't wait to work again as i've been lazing at home for way too long. And my cash flow is like choked, need it flowing in again..

2004-10-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

1st day of puasa was ok.... Did'nt really feel like fasting as i don't eat much the past few weeks before that due to stress and stuff.... Watch "Puteri Gunung Ledang" on vcd with my dad.. A sweet and romantic love story with all the poetic flowery language and all.. Besides that i was just lazing at home and chatted with the dear in the late afternoon for a while. Break fast on sardine toasts, some "cucur" and some watermelon. Didn't had much ,or should i say nicer food,because dear mum is still not feeling well. Went to meet Jimmi from my work place to collect my pass renewal form.... Finally i get to work again..... Cash flow into my bank a/c...... Gonna save up, firstly for bike lisence and 2ndly for my Vespa Super..... Yeah those two are top of my "I WANT" list below "MONA" which is in 1st place.... ;p Went to Al-istighfar after that for "Tarawih".... before went to slack at "Tengah" with a bunch of peeps including my big bro Nonet..... Talk cock for an hour or 2 before heading for home When i msg the dear and called her to chat for a while before she go to bed.. And then i could'nt sleep and so went online to type this shit out....

I am missing you more and more by the passing day babe.... But we'll meet soon... It's ok if we meet way less often.. Just sacrifice for this holy month....

2004-10-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

That night, 13th October, met at cheers tampines with our bicycles and waited for two "VIPs", who bumped into us while leaving the MRT station to go home to get their bicycles. Late, really late as we are late already but they are later,and reason was that they are too engrossed with their girlfriends. It's ok if they meet with their girl once in a while,but if they meet almost everyday and this still happens, sorry to say but that's just a bit toooooo much.

We had to meet at Idham's void deck as Sufi did'nt have a bicycle and he had a spare one...... The front tyre of that bicycle is out of air and so we went to a petrol kiosk nearby to pump some air into it........ BUT later on found out that it's actually punctured.. We tried to think of a solution so that we can continue to night cycle just as we planned. We suddenly remembered we got some tools in Rudy's bag cos he was fixing his bike at Jeeb's place or something. So we had a plan or ehmmmmmmmm, a "mission"!!! Our mission: Find a bicycle with the front tyre not locked, 2 of us with the equipment proceed to unscrew and took the tyre, while another 2 keep a look out near the main road and the carpark . The rest waited at the petrol kiosk. It was a fast one a couple of minutes, and mission accomplished.
We met the rest at the petrol kiosk changed the punctured tyre, the tube to be exact, pumped some fresh air in it, Rudy threw the unwanted remains of the "spare" tyre in the huge drain, and we ready to go. But before we actually set off, we were making so much noise because boy had just stepped on a massive pile of "God knows whose" shit!! It was really stinky even after he washed his shoe at the loo.

Soon after the comotion about the shit thingy, We set off in a pack of 8 noisy young punks on bicycles, to our destination Changi for no apparent reason except for taking a look at the "she-males" there and maybe do some "Parkour" and chillin. hehehehehhehe...
Noisy journey took some time before we were welcomed to Changi by 2 "she-males" with big boops. We bought drinks to quench our thirst at 7-11 and parked our bicycles at a some rails near a flight of steps where some of us attempted to jump down. Only a few were succesful. Then some of us went to climb at the short buildings nearby. Rudy was the man. He climbed from the 2nd floor to the 4th floor, he wanted to proceed to the roof but realised that if he made any mistakes, he'd probably get injured badly or even die....

We then head off to some coffee shop to grabbed some prathas as dinner..... or was it breakfast.... maybe 2 in 1..... We then decided to cycle out through the carpark to get a glimpse of more "she-males" but was like screened by s bunch of policemen. But we were'nt at and so there is no need to be scared. Soon we were let off and we made the journey back to pasir ris. Tired but still, i can't say that the the return journey wasn't as noisy as the journey there.

We finally reached pasir ris and decided to stop by at Pasir ris park to entertain ourselves at the playground which was one of a kind..... We could only wonder why they made such dangerous "toys" for children.. Nyet and Rudy was spun on the tilted dish which is a futuristic version of the rather "ol skool" merry-go-round. Suprisingly, Rudy endured the dizzy-ness, but Nyet got pretty dizzy and didn't vomit or something. He started to have a stomache ache and farted a "silent but deadly" blow from his ass right into Rudy's face. Hahahahahahha. We tried this long metal slide which was not smooth for us to slide down..... One by one tried, Dham hid beside it the slide in the bushes to shock me when i was sliding down, succeeded, but i wasn't that shocked. Jeeb was... He was so shocked that he got up and ran and misfooted off the track and back onto it. There were several shorter slides which was taller then the typical slides in playgrounds nearby housing estates. Boy wanted to try and he was sitting at the top of it. Not really realising the slides are pretty wet due to the early morning dew... He accidentally let go upon realising that and he was going at top speed down the slide with that panic face of his and he was like tapping the sides of the slides to make it slowdown but i guess that didn't work as he landed running onto the sand and almost lost his balance. We were laughing like hell bout it. The rest tried the other wet slides too but none was better then boy's try.... Udin and Rudy was forced to sit on what we call "Swing of death". They sat there, we twisted the swing till the chains cannot twist some more and pushed them the opposite direction till it turned so damn fast in so many rounds. Rudy ,again, endured the dizzy-ness quite well, while Udin couldn't even walk.....

We then went to where we call " The Steps" and just slacked there as we were really tired by then.... Nyet kept on dozing off, and as always, we decided to sabo him.... We always decorated him when he's asleep with practically every piece of thrash we could find lying around but this time, we tried something else. We took his bicycle and put it on a tree. Rudy climbed up, and boy passed him the bike to put nicely on the tree branches. Nyet got up only to doze off again and that happened a lot of times before we decided to call it the day. Everyone was on their bikes already except Nyet. He was pissed off he raised his voice and asked who hid his bike he only looked down and only found it when he looked up. He jumped and pushed on it slowly till it fell down. We then raced our way to the main road before we split ways to head home.

Great fun though we decided on the whole trip noon on the same day. SELAMAT BERPUASA EVERYBODY!!!!!

2004-10-11T01:44:00.000-07:00

How would i define the word
Friends.........
One who are there only when you laugh or only when you cry
One who are there when you both laugh and cry
One who gives you the comfort you need
One who backstab you
One who makes you glad to have them in your lives
One who does things that make you bear grudges against them
One who push you to happier days
One who push you to trouble One who would make you hate them if they left One who would make you sad if they left Friends.................... One word to a whole lot of different meanings

To the one who it may concern,

Every soul make mistakes.... And you have made one big one... And it's time you redeem yourself..... And the way to do that is not to run away and think we hate you and complain your way to an exterior party. Or to be there but just keep quiet and refuse to do something to redeem yourself, and just say something you would'nt do when prompted. You know what you need to do.... You took what is not yours, you return it by all means possible... And do not run away because you are still one of us..... If you are reading this, as i mentioned earlier you should know what you need to do, and everything will be back to normal if you do what you need to do to redeem yourself. You complain about other's attitude problems and stuff but you did'nt even look in the mirror, you diminished our thrust, that's worse then the other's minor attitude problems which comes and go. So, to the one who it may concern. We don't hate you, we just lost thrust and respect in you. So do what you need to do so things can go back to normal....

Yours truthfully

SjR

2004-10-09T00:21:00.000-07:00

Awaiting for the day after,
Awaiting for the chance to embrace you in my arms again
It's been 3 days since we last sat side by side,
......................... since we last walked hand in hand,
......................... since we last gazed each other in the eye
......................... since we last gave each other pecks of affection
I miss all that
I need all that...............................
but most of all.........
I miss your presence
I need your presence........
i MISS YOU BABY
i NEED YOU BABY

2004-10-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

Started the day by wakin up at Udin's place, ended yesterday with soccer and chilling at the As-Salihin cofee shop for like 5 hrs. from 12 plus to ard 6. Just sat back and relaxed and engage ourselves in a long long conversation about nothing and everything at once. Went home from Udin's place bla bla bla............ Just laze around at home and tried the Stupid NS pre-enlistment stuff online AGAIN. And finally got it to work but have to continue at someone's place tommorow morning or something where i can print some parts of it which is required to be printed. Tommorow is BFC's day out. Gonna be so much fun but i just hope i can fall rilli sick and just stay at home just to be alone, just to be with me myself and I.

Babe......i feel really bad about all that happened the past bloody 2 days. Hurting you is the last thing on my mind right now. But i just hurt you alot this past bloody 2 days..... whithout even knowing untill you said you were hurt.... It's not on purpose, it's not intentional and i said sorry but sorry is just not the word for apology to you or it must have slipped out from my mouth too late. Do you know it really hurt to know that you are hurt. It feels like shit as shitty as the look on my face right now. I hope i can be ok soon. I know i won't be so soon but i'll just hide it first. I held back my tears just now, but wasn't strong enough to avoid a couple of teardrops to fall before i really managed to force my wet eyeballs from tearing profusely. I'll try my best to be a better man, i promise.... I don't want to loose you babe..........

2004-10-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

Bored...... Woke up late intentionally just to waste the hours of the day.. Went online after that and chatted crap with Hana and some relatives' bike accident with lil one.

Even browsed yahoo auctions for Vespas,there were a few Supers and one Super Sprint which is nice and at a good price. Too bad i have'nt got my lisence and am not working... But soon i'll own my own. Slowly but surely.. Either a Super or a Super Sprint, i don't care.

Thought I'm meeting the dear after she finish work, but neah.. she's too tired to meet me, waited for nothing. Haizzz... Well... was about to just go somewhere alone when... the one and only Jeebiezz called... He's bored too... We planned to chill somewhere. Thought of making today the 2nd smoke free day,well maybe not..... Hahahaha.

2004-10-04T00:53:00.000-07:00

I miss my cranky baby monzter......

2004-10-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

The dreaded semester is as good as over. Finished my video editing,my black and white photo printing,my web assigment,my stupid flower project,crap racist speech,and my report and journal entries. Finally get to see my dearest for the 2nd time of the week. Had mutabak pizza at al ameen and stopped by at Fish n Co for a while because she had to take her name tag or something.

I was sending her home when hana and their dear mum urged me to join them to go parkway to get jeans. We got jeans and had a bit of KFC's fast food, and the dear mum sent me home...... "Terima kasih cik..!"..... Didn't get to say that just now

Mona is so funny, hana is too, and so is izhar, and so is their Mum, great bunch of wacky people, remember after WOMAD??? At the kedai kopi the "Dah sunat ke belum?" question the dear mum asked me??????? Remember???? That was so funny.........

We just met just now babe, but i'm missing you already, it's like we haven't met for so long......... And my projects are all done and i can have more time with you......... And we can go walk around hand in hand swinging it high high, and if it rains, we'll sing "Rain drops keep falling on my head"...........

2004-09-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

Been a while since i last blogged.... Time goes by so fast.... So fast that it's been one month of fun,love and affection with the dearest... I really have her to thank to make my life ok when i'm on the down side....

By the way in case you all did'nt know......... This is my dream bike.....
VESPA SUPER!!!!!!!!!!WOOOHOOO I LOIKE!!!!!!!! Snapped this near a carpark near the dance studio....

I grew up with the vespa.... My dad always tompang me on his for the past 10 years plus........ And i also had one last time.... here's the pic

Remember Yesterday

2004-09-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

Remember yesterday???
It was "you" It was "me"
But today...
It is "us" It is " we"

I thought i never had a chance
I thought I was waiting in vain
But now begins the sweet romance
No matter in the sun or even the rain

Before,You never had feelings for me
We were no more then friends
Now, i adore you, you adore me
And "i miss you's" never ends

When i'm feeling lost and down
in the darkness, you are the light
To comfort me,you'll always be around
You colour my life which is black and white

I love you and I adore you
And please don't leave my side
So many things I do I'll do It for you
It's worth,It feels so right

Yesterday
well it's just the past and it's over
Today
I'm ever so proud to have you as my lover

2004-09-17T00:43:00.000-07:00

My day was pretty normal but then it became special...........
as special as that one person
who i finally got to meet after missing her so much......

I would get cranky when she's far away
Because she's the only one in this heart of mine
The sight of her always makes my day
and indeed makes me smile from time to time

There she is..... Ain't she cute???? *grins* But maybe in this pic she's trying abit too hard to show her "cuteness" *giggles*

2004-09-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Woke up frowning to the thought i could not meet her yesterday and i can't meet her today........And most probably the day tomorrow or the day after either.... The closest i could get to her is on the phone and only to her voice..... I don't even have her picture in my wallet.... It hurts.... It does........ but it's worth because i love her......

it's true enough babe.... true enough when you said that it's better then meeting everyday as like this,when we actually get to meet each other it'll be more special as both of us are already like longing to see each other......... Well see you when i see you...... Love you many many

2004-09-13T14:15:00.000-07:00

I love ur "imissyou" look babe.........

2004-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Meet up at Bedok MRT control station........took bus to east coast... sat down and got more and more clingy and stuff..... dissed somme skimmers.....and even do that perverted eyebrow thingy to each other...... shared an umbrella and walked in the rain and singing "raindrop keep falling on my head"...... went to have dinner,or was it lunch, at LJS at bedok........ made stupid jokes about wet farts..... sent you home ,this time till the 9th floor.... is just

what you'll call "beyond perfection"........We''ll do that again some time really soon babe.....

2004-09-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

Finally B.F.C got 1st place (Wooohoooo 1000 bucks babeh!!!) in a competition and i get to meet my babe...... Don't feel so wordy today........ But happy of all that happened and the good night kiss to end the day with......

2004-09-10T00:44:00.000-07:00

Reached school at ard noon and went to the dark room to do my prints..... All 16 of it.... I even sort of skipped my other class to continue doing my prints..... When I'm done it was 7 plus pm.... Took like 7 hours minus max 30 to 45 minutes of total resting intervals.... I did'nt even eat.... One reason,too engrossed maybe,another reason,to meet my girl and have dinner with her and at the same time getting to squeeze in some time to spend time with her in my busy schedule.... But then she turned me down..... She could'nt go out..... Damn i was looking forward to see her...... But what to do...... I guess you can't expect too much...... simply because you'll really feel like shit if it goes the other way...... I just seated behind the busstop and planned to let 3 bus number 15 to pass by and board the 4th one just to pass the time.... Before the 4th one came, number 8 stopped at the bus stop and i could see Jeeb waving at me to get on the bus...... My face lit up and i board the bus......

We went to Tampines central and just wandered around. tried looking for someone we know and the only person we found was Wak with his dreads hidden in his big hat with a Bob marley badge on it..... Rasta as he is..... I could remember years back when he was keeping his hair before he did his dreads......... Like "Mat rock"sia khekhekhekhehke...... Then wandered around again shared money for a pack of ciggys, and chilled at S11. We watched Singapore idol there while i gulped down a plate of fried wing rice...... Not at all specially delicious but well, it's my first meal of the day so it's still extra yummy......We went home after that........

Babe, I got to admit i was dissapointed when you said you can't meet me just now and said we'll just meet during the weekends..... But i got to understand that it's not on purpose that you did'nt get to meet me......
Don't worry babe, i'm not mad simply because i cant get mad at you, i can only go crazy for you......

2004-09-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

Started off the day with a motherfuckin-sucky beginning.... Had a puff at the school's bus stop and was caught by the security guard and my matric card was confiscated.. And soon i got to fork out a fuckin $50 note for the fine..hahahahhahaa

Then went for some project discussion and overheard some of my friends talking about projects... And guess what??..... I just realise i got more school work to do then what i thought.... 6 subjects and for every pathetic subject, i have got an assigment or project which most of it i haven't even done half...... Hahahahahaha Bummer me...... Total Bummer me........ Maybe It's destined for me to be a Bummer........ Maybe it's destined for me to like stay in school for an extra half or exactly a year........ But that'll be good if i only repeat like 1 or 2 pathetic subjects just to graduate as I'll have more time to work and enjoy and buy my dream Vespa Super....... hahahahahahaha Being optimistic Syaf??? Well i don't think so it's just pure SARCASM!!! Wakhakhakhakhakaha....... I'm just cracking up inside, feel like knocking my head on the concrete wall so that it cracks up too...... hahahahahahha!!!

Sings "Do you have the time to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once????
I am one of those melodramatic fools.............. Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it......
Sometimes i give myself the creeps............. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.......
it all keeps adding up........... I THINK I"M CRACKIN UP!!!!!!! AM I JUST PARANOID or i'm just stoned.............."

i'll be ok by the next time we meet babe........ Well at least hopefully...... I don't think i can afford so much of late night talks ,which i really enjoy, because i need like most of my time to finish up my projects...... It's just left with ard 2-3 weeks left of the dreaded semester........ and so we'll get to spend lots of time together after that during my term break...... That is if i don't have to sit for sub papers.... Well i'll just wait for the time i can hold u tight , kiss you and say "i love you" a million times.............

2004-09-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

My day would be dead boring if i did'nt meet up with you just now.... Really sorry if we can't meet up for the next few days.... My projects are piling up and as much as i do not want to i just have to take up my time to finish them up..... Just like last week i'll be busy with school and practice sessions and shows..... Please be patient babe..... You'll be there to support me and my crew on Saturday right??? Ya,but there would be too many people,including your Mum and Sis, and we would'nt really get to spend time together........ Maybe we can meet up on Sunday and have the whole day to ourselves... Just the 2 of us,just you and me........ Maybe we can catch a movie,go shopping or even walk by the beach..... But it does't matter what we do what matters is that i get to spend the day with you babe.........

2004-09-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

Almost the same Ol' standard Monday routine except for i get to meet the dear and treated her Swensen's Fish and Chips while i had Breaded Chiken.... Nice.... Been long time since i tasted good food. Recently got some show money and decided to spend a little on good food... And what better way to do that then with my dearest.... After that sent her home before i went to dance studio for session.. Took 28 and slept in the bus and missed my stop by.... ehmmmm,like 5 bus stops.... Hahahahahaha...... Then i got to cross over and took the bus back to the stop i should alight......

Some readers comment that my blog is very emotional and makes them want to cry... So i'll ease down on the emotional part abit today..... But as i told all of you all earlier on.... Life is nothing whithout emotions..... So here's something emo.....

At first i got to know you i saw you as a friend, as time passes us by.... I got to know who you really are and how special you are and soon i have i've fallen for you.... But it was just one of those crush that i don't expect anything in return..... But i was just lucky you started feeling the same way as i do... Since then onwards..... I've never regretted having you in my life...... Especially now when i got you babe........

2004-09-06T00:45:00.000-07:00

Really really happy you are feeling better. We'll meet tomorrow and i promise you'll get all the comfort I can give you. I'll embrace you in my arms and kiss you on the forehead and whisper in your ear that everything is going to be alright.

2004-09-05T02:48:00.000-07:00

A very nice day just passed... Perform with an all friend,Wilson, got some money..... Then the Best of the Best thingy Got 2nd .... finally got to spend tym with the dear again......

And an emotional moment among me n my BFC peeps.... When Hadi,our crew's popper.... announced something to us..... before he announced, he broke down into tears..... He's quitting BFC and just now was his last show with us... all of us were feeling really really sad... some, including me, was holdin back our tears..... We are on the verge of crying together..... but in times like this we just have to be strong enough to move on...... He gave a reason that he want to get serious in life......We told him and we respect his decision, but still we need him not only due to the fact that he is our only "Popper" but we have been so much together with him and and gone so far, and we don't wish to go on whithout him and having to even replace him with a new member........... We told him that he is more then welcomed to be back with us..... And since he live so far away..... we decided to reimburse his transport fees and give him space whenever he needs some...... Well wether he comes back or not..... Well i guess things happen...... It's just life.....

2004-09-04T03:31:00.000-07:00

Haaizzzzz........ I guess i'll just lay in bed and put my pillow over my face and just lay there till i fall asleep.....

We'll just meet tomorow and let cuddles,hugs and kisses make us forgot bout the complication

2004-09-04T03:00:00.000-07:00

i am such a bummer......... skipped morning class to get extra sleep..... skipped friday prayers to buy school stuff at city hall which is found to be out of stock when i got there.... and lastly called my dearie just a while ago just to find out that she's pissed at me and why??? Simple, because I let her down, because i just ain't good enough as her boyfriend..... I'm lyk too busy n stuff and i usually can only call to chat with her after her bed time which is of course a bit too late........ I'm just typing all this shit down because i guess i'll feel a bit better and will eventually succeed in putting myself to sleep...

2004-09-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Argggghhhh!! I am so fucking pissed...... Wanted to develop my films but just realised i lost my developing chemical and one of my films..... There's always something that pops up just to ruin my day... Tomorrow is my dreadful "Darkroom Proccesses class" and i can't get my negatives ready.... Too bad.... Just me and my ever so sucky life... Wish i could just lay in my baby's arms and just gaze in her dreamy eyes and tell myself eveything's gonna be allright......

2004-09-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

Fatigue to the bone...... Energy lost yesterday during session is still not regained.........went to school early for projects but could'nt start right away, just had to waste time like typing out this words you are reading here...... The dear asked me a question i answered honestly,and now i'm just really scared she won't look at me the same again.... But if she really love me... Well i guess she'll just take it as the past and not think about it.

I GOT YOU BABE

2004-08-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

Me and my Babey...........

Introduction

2004-08-31T16:01:00.000-07:00

Life in emo............ Life is nothing whithout emotions............Life is nothing whithout feelings........... Every human have got emotions and feelings ..... And today i'm juz leashed to the overpowering boredom and feeling nothing but bored.......... 2 hour lesson at school, waste lots of tym in the lab, and meet up with some others at tampines central and head to Velvet Underground for a show.... And maybe i'll meet that someone after that and send her home from work just to make my day by spending at least a tiny bit of time with her........